Tags

Have you ever gotten so used to something, even unpleasant somethings, that when it changes it totally throws you for a loop?

That’s me, “invisible me”.

I am quite used to going out into public and having nobody notice me, even at a crowded event. (I have, actually, stood in line ups for things and had the counter person look to serve the person behind me, before they even noticed that I was there.)

I used to say that being “invisible” kept me out of trouble, because if no one knew I was there… there was little chance of anything going wrong. (Like the very strict, parents who weren’t getting mad at me because most of the time he hardly noticed me, unlike my outgoing sister who was always trying to get attention and often getting herself into trouble for it. Or the habit of attracting all the wrong boys, so it was easier just to be the wallflower, at parties, that no one spoke to.)

As much as I can say that I still don’t like attention – it makes me nervous and uncomfortable, I can also say with certainty that I don’t like being lonely! And in truth, it never kept me out of trouble. In fact whenever I did get attention it was so out of the ordinary that I had to have more… I craved it, and that need often led me to do things or hang with people that I knew I probably shouldn’t. All the wrong kind of people often prey on the weak and the outcast.

To this day I often have panic attacks that make me want to run and hide when confronted with a social gathering… and I am still haven’t decided which is worse – the fear of what to do or say if someone does talk to me, or the lonely painful rejection when they don’t.

If you have ever been in a social setting where you know that you knew almost everyone there, (school events; church functions; and so on) – and although you are standing in the same room, with everyone else, eating or drinking and being a part of the event – still no one acknowledges you… then you know what I am talking about.

But if you are part of the lucky majority of other people that have no idea what it is like to be “invisible”, please go up to someone you have never really seen, although you may have inadvertantly looked through them to see past them, and introduce yourself.  You may have to do this several times over the next countless times that you see them, before you can get them talking, but trust me when I say it is not because they are snobs; stoners; intentionally rude; or simply don’t want to – it is more likely that they are so uncomfortable that they have sunk back inside themselves for fear of the unknown. Such a tiny gesture could save a life, (if not literally, then figuratively), and is well worth the tiny amount of time and effort that it will take to become a friend to the friendless.

It is especially true that some of us, “invisibles” are so alone that depression and desperation are all we can feel, and these people urgently need to know that someone out there sees; cares; and is willing to put the effort into helping them be part of the human population.

As a final thought, I will simply say that every person alive needs human contact, in some form, to feel wanted; to feel special; to feel alive!